A Fight for Freedom

I’d like to open this by apologizing for not replying to any of the comments that you have all lovingly posted. I have read through all of them and am beyond encouraged by every and each one, however that said I completely overlooked replying and for that fact contacting each of you individually. Life is super busy these days that whenever I get free time I use it for myself, but that is inconsiderate of me. Especially since you are all a part of my journey and I wouldn’t be here without each and every one of you. So thank you all and praise God that I’m blessed with such loving supporters.

Now I haven’t given an update in almost two weeks so I’ll try to post some highlights at some point, but this today is of major importance.
I have never in my life seen such spiritual warfare as I have these past two weeks. Not just in my life, but in the lives of my friends as well. We have been delving into what the Bible teaches of the Spiritual Realm and opening our eyes to the truth of our world. I have always had a belief in the supernatural and spiritual, but now I find myself understanding so much more than I had ever imagined. Spiritual powers are active in the world and they are everywhere. I was at a time of the belief that demons and evil spirits were only found in foreign countries, that the US either didn’t have them, or that they were only in the darkest corners. Now I know that they are present everywhere and constant in their mission of destruction.
I won’t get into specifics due to privacy, but their have been several instances of clear demonic presence and I have experienced it personally.

Before I continue I have to say this…CHRIST IS RULER AND HE HAS ALREADY WON THE DAY! This powers are real and they do have power, but none compare to the Power and Authority given to Christ Jesus. I say this because there are some that when hearing of the spiritual, will react in fear and that is not what the Bible calls us to do. We are to be cautious and aware, but fear is of the enemy and is a lie that he spits to gain control of us.

Now as for my story in this. As I had said, we have been studying the spiritual powers in our world and the truth behind them. Now a big part of these lessons has been to not accredit every sin and foul thought to a demon. We have a sin nature and that will bring up things we would rather avoid. However there are times where there is a demonic presence and they influence you to take certain actions. A clear sign of this is a habitual sin that you have repented from time and time again but still comes back and even feels like you are going against your own will. These demonic forces are given footholds in your life and are then able to influence freely at their own leisure.
I am confident and certain that I am being influenced by a demonic spirit. This isn’t to say I am possessed, but this spirit has a hold of something in me that I allowed, and is now able to influence me whenever it pleases.
As for what exactly it is, it is a spirit of lust. When I was about 8 years old I was introduced to pornography. Ever since then it was a struggle and a battle. There were times of victory, and times of “peace”, but regardless of what I did or said it would always come back. This continued all the way up to the day before I flew out of Cal. and landed in Atl.
Now for the first two weeks of training camp I felt no urge or lust, and that in itself was abnormal. For a moment I thought that I had solved it, that all I had to do was change my environment, but then I thought about it and revealed the truth. During these two weeks of “peace”, there were two nights that I had random lustful dreams, both of which were followed by me waking up in the night and feeling disgusting. Now we jump to this past Monday. At this point I had a suspicion but nothing evident and I didn’t want to just jump to a conclusion and blame a demon, however that day we talked about distinguishing sin nature and demonic influence, and it was then that I realized the truth.
The demonic presence in my life was hiding itself away and trying to get me to lower my guard, but I caught it before hand. That evening when I had already come to this conclusion through prayer and discernment, I was lying down in bed on my phone and suddenly images and lustful thoughts began to bombard my mind. I put my phone down that instant and tried to sleep, but through the night my dreams were assailed by lust and desire. Tuesday morning I woke up feeling disgusting, but I decided to keep these things to myself in hopes to not bother my friends. The morning was horrible and I felt spiritually exhausted, but thankfully we were backpacking that evening and so the entire duration of the hike up, the time spent with friends, and the hike down the next morning I was distracted and felt momentary peace. We got back to campus Wednesday morning, and it was then that the spiritual attack escalated. I shared my revelations with my team mates that afternoon, and as soon as I stated that my goal was to starve the demon out of it’s lustfulness and sanctify my mind and soul, the spiritual pressure intensified. That evening I began feeling unnatural exhaustion and annoyance. Every little thing would tick me off, and I could barely focus on the lessons. I was confused because neither of those emotions or feelings truly felt like me, and it was then that I realized that with my declaration of WAR, the spirit of lust invited the spirits of exhaustion and irritation to help in it’s attack.
Now we get to Thursday. So many things had become clear to me. Throughout the day I continued to feel these unnatural emotions, and eventually I finally openly rebuked both the spirit of exhaustion and irritation, and instantly I felt a pressure leave me and no longer felt those negative emotions. I then shared this with two of my close friends who had noticed something was off and were concerned, and after that I immediately felt relief. Now I’m here writing this on Friday and I feel great. I know now what I’m fighting, and I know it was no power over me as long as I have Christ Jesus. I will overcome this decade long battle, and I will finally starve out this demon. Through Christ Jesus I can do and defeat whatever comes in between me and God our Father.